19. The Tentacles
Awakening to "Insignificance" does not need to become "Insecurity." Overcompensation is a symptom, not a virtue; it is not enlightenment.
This is the 20th posting in a series of 73, released every 5th day in 2025
0. Momentum Metanoia 1. The Root: Fuel’s Potential 2. The Organism Prism 3. From All to Part 4. Rooted Right In 5. Ego Formation 6. “I Am” (Aries) 7. Seeing Survival, Rising Above It 8. Pain as a Teacher 9. Distinct Yet Inseparable 10. Sacral Center: Initiation 11. The Embodied Experience 12. “I Have” (Taurus) 13. Bondage 14. Self-Assurance 15. Rising into Relation 16. The Breath of the Fool 17. The Mind and Message 18. “I Think” (Gemini)
Who do I perceive to be a threat to my pride?
Who am I jealous of?
Who do I wish to tarnish their reputation through gossip, without a desire to interact with them directly?
Is there a projection of my own trauma, which has simply become normalized and seen to be “reality?”
Why am I feeding that which is consuming me?
Nineteen signifies the moment of realizing insignificance- and the decision point that exists in that moment: to either accept and acknowledge that there are greater powers present to then learn and grow from them- or to reject this as truth, to feel this “insignificance” to be an attack from these “greater powers,” to then live life trying to compete against them without understanding the relationship to them. In this series’ analogy of what has now become a sprout, the sprout is realizing how its roots were always interweaving with other roots of the other plants, now coming to interface and interact above the surface.
Although this may seem out of place within this series, I believe it is worth considering on a deeper level: where does addiction take root? Why is there a conflation between “insignificance” and “insecurity?” If one suction cup of one tentacle is able to grab hold of the target, it can be enough for the entire arm to grab hold- to then be at the mercy of all eight. How does the ignorance of other ways to approach dynamics keep us in unnecessary cycles- seemingly endless loops- of suffering, confusion, and division?
As the sense of self deteriorates, external fixations and distractions proliferate. Materialism becomes impregnated into the mind as rationalism, to then generate a narrative in which fulfillment comes from some metric of comparison against another. In the modern era, this has commonly come to be seen through material possession. In truth, it becomes clear how this is not a clear mind- but rather a possessed mind- incapable of accessing the true nourishment that is the creative impulse driving action, to then desire to share this creative impulse with others by means of collaboration.
Who do I perceive to be a threat to my pride?
Who am I jealous of?
Who do I wish to tarnish their reputation through gossip, without a desire to interact with them directly?
Is there a projection of my own trauma, which has simply become normalized and seen to be “reality?”
Why am I feeding that which is consuming me?
